[Intro]
like an cello thing

[Verse]
Hey, mister, where you headed?
Are you in a hurry?
Need a lift to happy hour? Say "oh no"
Do you brake for distilled spirits?
I need a break as well
The well that inebriates the guilt
One, two, one, two, three, four!

[Interlude]
bring up energy

[Verse]
Cold turkey's getting stale
Tonight, I'm eating crow
Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no
There's a drought at the fountain of youth
And I'm dehydrated
My tongue is swelling up, I say
"One, two, one, two, three, four!"

[Interlude]
4x
last one is less staccato

[Chorus]
Troubled times
You know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

[Verse]
There's a drought at the fountain of youth
And I'm dehydrated
My tongue is swelling up, I say... 2x "Shit!"

[Solo]
bunch of weird octaves B D G F#, B D E etc

[Chorus]
Troubled times
You know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

[Outro]
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
(Don't know where to go) Hitchin' a ride
1 2 3 4 1 2
ends on beat 2 on the G
(Say birthday boys, hey!)

Ends with a fancy B6